Garbage, at your disposal
Hey spammin’ fam, Már is back.
Here’s a disgusting pic of my sink:
When I was a kid I was fascinated by a mysterious fictional piece of tech: garbage disposals.
There was a particularly terrifying Treehouse of Horrors episode of The Simpsons I used to obsess over. A pushy sales robot sells Marge an ‘Ultrahouse 3000’ to smartify their home.
The upgraded house had tons of amazing features, like a fully-automated kitchen where the dining room table would clean itself. It did so by raising each half, so the leftover food would slide down into a hole in the middle of the table, where it was received by whirling blades that chopped it up and disposed of it.
Eventually the home’s HAL 9000-like persona, voiced by Pierce Brosnan (that’s freaking James Bond!), tries to kill Homer by dumping him into the garbage disposal — awesome.
Feast your eyes on this, kids.
As a kid I kept thinking how rad The Simpsons were and how no other show could come close to its brilliance. Not only was it HILARIOUS, but also came up with awesome sci-fi stuff on top of that.
But then something weird happened. I started to notice these sci-fi ‘garbage disposal’ things cropping up in other TV shows.
It ranged from casual scenes where a character would flip a switch near the sink, but instead of a light being turned on, there was a soft grinding noise — to more serious horror like in NBC’s Heroes (remember that? HIRO! amirite?) where the indestructible cheerleader shoves her hand down a garbage disposal.
The thing is, growing up outside the US while fanatically watching American television, there were tons of things I had to piece together on my own. What’s the difference between East Coast and West Coast? So a ‘harvard’ is stuff for smart people? How long is a ‘block’ and which one is Jenny from?
So in the end, I came to the conclusion that ‘garbage disposals’ must be real in America, although I had never seen it in any country I had ever visited and no matter how weird they seemed. (BTW according to the fascinating Wikipedia page on garbage disposals, they basically only exist in the US, with the only other adoption being 6% of homes in the UK and mere 3% in Canada — so young Már wasn't that stupid).
Now... in the time it took me to write up this Big Spam, could I theoretically have cleaned my sink? Well, let me tell you what. Shut your stupid face.
Despite not having seen a real-life garbage disposal to this day, I’m still clinging to the vague hope that somehow one will magically show up in my sink — cuz I ain’t cleaning it.
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Tweet of the day
Pretty ugly poll
Yesterday we asked you to choose between W λ R-1Ø and W λLΨ 1-61. 53.8% you chose W λLΨ 1-61.
Today, garbage disposals?
● YAY!
● NAY!
● Mommy my fingers are gone
We'll leave you with this...
Love you, mean it,
TNW Editorial
